Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” ~ John 3:3 ESV
This question often arises when someone shows signs of repentance: What should a Christian do? Should we lead them in what is commonly called the “sinner’s prayer,” or instead encourage them to seek God sincerely on their own?
A helpful way to understand this is by looking at the natural world. When a baby is born without complications, the doctor doesn’t need to force the process—he simply guides the head. Likewise, when someone is “born of God,” our role is to gently guide them in understanding. That’s what Philip the evangelist did when he met the Ethiopian eunuch. He asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” (Acts 8:30). In Jesus’ parable of the sower, the true convert—the one in good soil—is the one who hears and understands (Matthew 13:23). This understanding comes through the convicting work of the Holy Spirit using God’s Law (Romans 7:7).
If someone is truly ready to come to Christ, it’s not because we convinced them with a formula—it’s because the Holy Spirit has drawn them (John 6:44). That’s why we must be cautious not to rush ahead of the Spirit’s work. Leading someone in a prayer without genuine repentance can result in what amounts to a spiritual stillbirth. Instead, encourage the person to pray themselves, from the heart.
Consider Nathan’s confrontation with King David. Nathan didn’t hand him a prayer to recite. David’s heartfelt repentance poured out in Psalm 51. Likewise, if a husband betrayed his wife, would someone else need to write his apology for him? No—true sorrow would come from his own broken heart. The same principle applies to repentance toward God. God desires godly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:10), not rehearsed words.
If a person truly understands their sin and feels the weight of it, let them cry out to God in their own words. You may pray for them, but let their repentance be real and personal. If they need help expressing themselves, Psalm 51 can be a beautiful model, but even better are their own words from a humbled heart.
Now, if someone teaches that saying a short prayer guarantees salvation, they will give an account before God. Salvation is not a mechanical ritual. Jesus made it clear: “You must be born again” (John 3:3). This is not a momentary act—it is a transformation. The evidence of new birth is a changed life, where Christ is not just known about, but truly followed and loved above all else.
To believe that a few quick words, spoken once, can secure eternal life is a dangerous deception. Jesus calls us to far more than that. He said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23). He also said, “Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:33).
True salvation means a lifelong surrender. We are to walk by faith, love Jesus above all, and endure to the end (Matthew 10:22). A born-again life is a transformed life, centered on knowing and following Jesus Christ. That is the fruit of true salvation.
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